Tag Archives: humor

Praise for Hell and High Water

Book_Cover-full-3.indd

The water is rising and the flames grow hotter as October 19th nears. Here is an early review of the book and a poem to get you through the weekend. Order information to follow.

Wolfgang Carstens promises “hell and high water” in his new book from Six Ft. Swells Press, and that’s exactly what you get. These poems blaze short and hot like matches, but baby, you’ll feel the burn; they both praise love and raise the level of pithy skewering to new heights. In Hell and High Water, whether he’s getting lucky (“i don’t write love poems”), or ruminating (“len,”  “contrary”), Carstens remains true to himself and his sometimes dark, sometimes hilarious, episodic visions of life.—Dianne Borsenik, publisher of NightBallet Press, author of Age of Aquarius (Crisis Chronicles Press, 2016)

instead of “Speed Bump,”

the sign read

“Speed Hump.”

“look Honey,”

my wife said,

laughing.

“finally,

a sport

you

can win.”

–Wolfgang Carstens, Hell and High Water

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under break up, Drinking, lost love, Poetry, Publishing, Small Press, The Writer's Life, Uncategorized, Writing

Hell and High Water is on the way….

On October 17th, Six Ft. Swells Press will release the next book in its acclaimed Top Shelf Poetry Series, Hell and High Water by Wolfgang Carstens. No matter how high the water mama or how hot the heat this book will kick the poetry world up a notch. Carstens offers a savage look into the essential life concepts of love, commitment, obligations, creativity, responsibilities, fatherhood, regret and the matrimonial benefits of good tequila. Hell and High Water, is about maintaining the wildness among minivans, mortgages and matrimony.

IMG_6403

Wolfgang Carstens lives in Canada with his wife, five kids, grandson, dog, mortgage and death. His poetry is printed on the backs of paid bills. More information at http://www.wolfgangcarstens.com.

Order details to follow.

the human animal

possesses

an uncanny ability

to justify any action

after the fact:

if the devil didn’t make us do it,

we were drunk,

stoned

or temporarily

insane.

when all else fails

we blame it

on love.

Leave a comment

Filed under break up, Drinking, lost love, Poetry, Publishing, Small Press, The Writer's Life, Uncategorized, Writer's Block, Writing

Deep in the Heart of Dallas

IMG_1102

Grab your cowboy boots and ten gallon beer mugs, acclaimed poets and performers; Matt Amott, Bill Gainer and Todd Cirillo, along with Desmene Statum descend on Dallas, Texas for sure to be legendary performances July 21st and July 22nd. All will have books for sale or barter. Each poet brings their raw, uncensored poetic fun to the stage.

Friday night come to Deep Vellum Books 3000 Commerce St, Dallas, TX 75226 at 7pm. Saturday night show is at the OCPC with Beer Keg Bon Fire and live band. Show begins at 7:30pm. The shows are presented by Two Roads A Synesthesia of Poetry and Beer, hosted by Paul Koniecki. C’mon over for poetry that you never thought possible (and for the booze and bands too) Click here for details:

https://www.facebook.com/events/1286607171457493/?ref=46

https://www.facebook.com/events/1902389333343310/?ref=46

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinking, lost love, Poetry, Small Press, The Writer's Life, Uncategorized, Writing

Poets Underground featuring Todd Cirillo

Now on small screens everywhere, poet Todd Cirillo is featured on the internationally acclaimed Poets Underground show with host Wolfgang Carstens. This critically lauded episode features the two legendary poets and writers in conversation and performance. A must see for poetry fans and good time people alike. So open up a sixer, mix a tall drink and enjoy as Todd and Wolfgang bring the goods to the world. Click below to watch.

Leave a comment

Filed under Drinking, lost love, Poetry, Publishing, Small Press, The Writer's Life, Uncategorized, Writing

The Monkey’s Got Your Poems!

5 new poems by Todd Cirillo published at Bold Monkey! Poems for a great northerner, a beautiful Californian, the biggest loss of the New Year, and that force that keeps us trying. Enjoy. You can get Todd’s latest book, Burning the Evidence (Epic Rites Press, 2017) at Amazon.com

https://georgedanderson.blogspot.com.au/2017/04/featuring-todd-cirillo.html

Featuring Todd Cirillo


Gravitational Force

Even at this moment,

sitting across from you
working on our computers
separately and silently,
I can feel it,
like the tides
reaching for the moon,
an unseen force
pulling me
towards
you.
Still Drinking Alone
 
11:46a.m.
Monday.
Lunch at the Witt’s Inn.
I sit at the bar
the only other customer
orders another
shot of Samba
and a Budweiser.
Speaks out loud
to no one particular,
me I guess,
“I was born
in 1958,
in the Navy
we drank Ouzo
in Greece.
There’s been
a lot of hard living
between then
and now.”
At 11:48a.m.
on a Monday
I believe him.
Good Strategy
            –for Wolfgang Carstens
There is a man
way up north,
beyond borders, plains, 
and mountain ranges.
Without his beard he looks respectable
even—
harmless.
He has a wife,
mortgage, a snow blower,
more kids, bills, and responsibilities
than I will ever know. 
I imagine him 
at a mild-mannered job
maybe wearing a uniform,
stocking shelves.
A man working
peacefully within the system.
Volunteers for the graveyard shift
allowing the darker words
to form under the florescent glow
of aisle 9
but at home
when the seal is broken,
the fridge is stocked,
and he is firing on all cylinders,
he is a motherfucking Mack truck
of a man
barreling through every barricade—
poetic and otherwise,
smoking, drinking,
making videos 
of himself reading 
tough and unforgiving 
poems he has written.
Until it is time to punch in once again.
I can only sit back
in awe and admiration
at his brutal strategy
of total retaliation
against
ALL of it.
(Epic Rites Broadside, 2017)
December 31st
Last year 
we celebrated 
your birthday
and the new year
together.
I told you
to blow out
the candle
and make a wish
over a 
Mexican dessert
but not to tell me
what you wished for.
This year
we don’t 
speak.
I like to tell myself
you wished for
a new car.
 
Thanks Sweetie
            for Annie Menebroker
“Hi sweetie”,
were the first words 
Annie spoke to me
and that is all it took.
Over the years,
I would call her
my traveling partner.
She would laugh
and tell me she was a 
traveling partner 
who didn’t travel anywhere.
She would open our conversations with,
“love to see all your pictures
of the places you go,
things you see, 
and hear the music 
you get to dance to”.
In June,
we spoke by phone 
and ended 
as we always did,
Annie telling me,
“thanks for calling sweetie”
followed by my,
“love you Annie”.
except this time,
each of us added 
a goodbye.
My traveling partner 
provided me with more
stories than she would admit to
and material for the heart
to last my lifetime–
and perhaps that’s why 
I live in New Orleans
where I get called “sweetie”
at least twice a day,
and everytime
I am reminded 
of my traveling partner
so I always say,
“thanks sweetie” back,
just in case
I never told her enough
while she
was still
here.

Todd Cirillo loves good times and shiny moments. He lives in New Orleans so there are plenty of those to be found. His latest book is Burning the Evidence, (Epic Rites Press, 2017). He can be found at afterhourspoetry.com and youtube.

2 Comments

Filed under break up, Drinking, Giveaway, lost love, Poetry, Publishing, Small Press, The Writer's Life, Uncategorized, Writing

New Poem published by In Between Hangovers today by Todd Cirillo

Here’s a true story for ya….

https://inbetweenhangovers.wordpress.com/2017/04/26/marketing-by-todd-cirillo/

Marketing by Todd Cirillo

On the plane
reading your book,
Lipstick and Bullet Holes
the green eyed stewardess
stood in the aisle
leaning over me.
She asked
what kind of book
I was reading.
I told her, poetry.
She said,
“oh I wondered
because I thought
it was called,
Lipstick and Buttholes.”
We laughed
and figured out
it was the font
and the way
my fingers covered
part of the word,
Bullet.
She read some of the poems
as the cabin doors closed
and said she liked them.
She gave me her number.

I take it as a compliment
for both of us.

2 Comments

Filed under lost love, Poetry, Publishing, Small Press, The Writer's Life, Uncategorized, Writing

Slutty review of Burning the Evidence by Todd Cirillo

Only a true fan of Todd Cirillo’s poetry could write this review (keep them coming):

Reading Todd Cirillo’ s Burning The Evidence feels sweaty, like a hot summer afternoon in the French Quarter. Slutty, like a stranger who opens her heart and legs to you for reasons she doesn’t even know. And drunken, Spoken in the moments between sober confusion and drunken clarity. Sweaty,slutty,and drunken. All things I like, A lot.–Anonymous Verified Amazon Purchase

French Quarter Happy Hour starts by clicking this link to order the Sazerac of poetry:

https://www.amazon.com/Burning-Evidence-Todd-Cirillo/dp/1926860586/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492724932&sr=8-1&keywords=todd+cirillo#customerReviewsthumb_img_8755_1024

Leave a comment

Filed under break up, Drinking, lost love, Poetry, Publishing, Small Press, The Writer's Life, Uncategorized, Writer's Block, Writing